We all know at least one celebrity. Some of you may know A-List like Tom Cruise or Meryl Streep. Others of you may know B-Listers like Flava Flav or Fez from That 70’s Show. Well, until recently I didn’t really know anyone that one would consider a celebrity. Sure, I’ve met minor league baseball players, and I’m pretty sure that our Mayor knows that I work with one of his friends, but, other than that, I haven’t had any nights that Us Weekly or People Magazine would care to know about.
Until Saturday night, that is…
You may know him from the blockbuster “Star Wars” movie series.
But I simply know him as “Chewie.”
We met at a MC Chris show (more on that, and a review of a local band in the next post). MC Chris brought us together, and we wound up hanging out the entire night. After the show, we went to Big John’s Tavern - Charleston’s Best Dive since 1955 - and Chewie was roaring…i mean, raring to go! We bellied up to the bar and ordered two PBRs.
Next thing you know, the guy’s ordering another and bums one of my smokes!
After pounding down a smoke and a beer, Chewie decides he’s gonna do a “Power Lift Can Stand.” I’m all like, “What the hell is that about, Chewie (at this point, he’d dropped the formalities and was going by Chewie)?” He’s like, “Dude, just watch…”
So, he orders the beer, gets a good grip, and…
Then drops the can back on the bar, shimmys up and…
“Holy crap, dude. That was AWESOME!” I had to give him his props for that.
At this point, we start attracting some attention. And being the world-famous star that he is, it’s something that he’s accustomed to, and craves. So shots are in order, and are ordered. We didn’t know it until then, but we’re both big Rumpleminz fans!
And then his wife called. Boy howdy, he wasn’t even TRYIN’ to hear THAT!
He just walked away from the phone, and started chatting it up with a lovely lady at the bar. Next thing you know know…
I quickly pulled him away from the beautiful baby, and reminded him that he did get married in California, and a divorce could cost him some serious dough if his wife found out about his trysts.
After another beer, I went and shot some pool witha buddy of mine. A few minutes later, I went back to the bar to grab my smokes and check on my new friend and found him making a Booty Call…
I figured , “What the hell?” “He can’t get in trouble for this, and he IS a Wookie after all…so I showed him the way to the bathroom, so he could do his dirty work.
After about 15 seconds, he was back for another PBR and a smoke, but I think the night had finally caught up with him. Poor little guy was just plum tuckered out…
We had a great time that night, and he said we’d hang again, but you know celebrities…
Just don’t give him your phone number. Next thing you know it’ll be all over the Internet.
Big John’s, eh? I prefer Cumberlands.
Comment by PLD — April 4, 2005 @
That’s right. SC has a law about not being able to use the larger liquor bottles, correct?
Glad you and the Wookie had fun.
Comment by AnonymousCoworker — April 4, 2005 @
Just when I think I’ve seen everything…you have to go and hang out with a wookie. Damn.
Comment by melina — April 4, 2005 @
My Dad will love this…aha ha ha!
Comment by Bry — April 4, 2005 @
This is awesome! That bad boy Chewie, he da man!
Comment by Bathroom Reading — April 4, 2005 @
[…]
Monday, April 4th, 2005
The Man Is Awesome
And So, Apparently, Is the Wookie This is, simply put, the best post I’ve seen in a long, lo […]
Pingback by Bathroom Reading » The Man Is Awesome — April 4, 2005 @
Hahaha - that cracked my shit up! Good one Jefe.
Comment by Vivian — April 4, 2005 @
Farm Lovin? This cracked me up. “Chewie’s night out”
Comment by Becka — April 4, 2005 @
Can you please come to PA so that you me and the wookie can hang out? Please? I’m not promising anything to you…but the wookie?
Comment by melina — April 4, 2005 @
BR - thanks for the shout out! Chewie and I rocked the Lowcountry. I just felt honored and priviledged to be a part of it!
ACW - yep. we’re the last state in the Union (that’s right - i said “The Union”) that still has mini bottles…we’re supposed to get rid of those and get runnin’ water soon…keep your fingers crossed.
Bry - tell Dad to stay tuned…Chewie may come back down and play soon…and he may bring some buddies with him…
Becka - Farm Lovin’ - it’s a vice that I’m still talking to the fuzzball about…
Mel - You know, I lived in Philly for awhile, so PA isn’t foreign territory for me…you and Chewie can take the bed, as long as I get a couch…and some pictures…
Comment by Kickball Superstar — April 4, 2005 @
Oh, and PLD - Cumberland’s is still great. They moved to King Street, but they do Monday Metal Monday Karaoke that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
Comment by Kickball Superstar — April 4, 2005 @
Yeah….I’m going to need the phone numbers of those minor league baseball players.
Comment by siana — April 5, 2005 @
This freakin’ rocks the house. The PBR drinking just makes it that much funnier. Hell yeah, man. Awesome post.
Comment by Jackie — April 5, 2005 @
you made me spit water all over my computer. that was fucking hilarious.
Comment by erin — April 6, 2005 @
The weird thing is, he seems much smaller in person than in the movies.
Comment by JG — April 6, 2005 @
Man that little piece of plastic can hold his booze. Miss the parties big guy. Glad to know you are still bringing the funny.
oooh, there is a cutie at the A&W across the street! Hellooo.
jk
Comment by The Show — April 13, 2005 @
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Comment by testanchor981 — November 9, 2005 @