Hoooooooooly Crap, y’all! What a reedonkulous—er, scratch that—ridiculous couple of weeks it’s been since last we spoke!
I’ve got a contract on a house! I’m going back and forth with the sellers cuz it needs a new roof, but I think everything’s gonna work out just fine…
We’re down to three in our department, and have oh, about 28 clients between us. So I’ve been checking out of here at 5:30 every day just to hang on to the last shreds of sanity that i have…
Kickball has started!!!! And since I should probably finish up some work before I head outta here today, I thought I’d post this season’s first edition of the Ghost Man on Third that I wrote (our weekly newsletter) for your reading pleasure…
Closing on the house is tentatively set for the end of the month, so I should return to some semblance of normalcy soon thereafter. But I will keep y’all apprised of any breaking news - this i swear.
smell you later,
-KS
A Message From Your Friendly Neighborhood Ghost Man:
Greetings, Kickers of the Sacred Red Rubber Ball – Welcome to 2005’s first edition of the Ghost Man on Third – your news source for all things kickball! Boy, is you in for a treat! Not necessarily from this edition of the GMOT (that’s what the cool kids call it. I heard ‘em say it when they were smoking cigarettes in front of the Li’l Cricket), but from the bizuttload of fun you folks are gonna have over the next two-ish months! I will be your tour guide during this journey of Odyssean proportions – from the search for board members, to “I can’t find the field – or my pants,” to the mid-season and end-of-season parties that make Carnivale in Rio look like that time you had to read to the elderly at Canterbury House to meet your community service sentence. Think of me as your Julie from the Love Boat, except instead of a boat, it’s Moultrie Playground. And instead of the ocean, it’s Colonial Lake. Which I am intimately familiar with (ask a kickball vet to tell you).
Sorry I missed y’all last week, but WAKA was experiencing technical difficulties, I missed the first game, and my dog ate my homework. So between now and tomorrow’s actvities, I thought I’d drop some knowledge on you playas.
1.Read your rules, refs. – I don’t know what you may have heard, but let me spell this out for all of you right now. This is a drinking club with a kickball problem. Go back. Read that last line again. While this is a “sport,” it’s my goal to make this season the most fun you’ve had on a playground since that time you scored the winning goal in 4th grade and haven’t shut up about it since. I will also do my best to put more matches together than E-Harmony here (Except for me. Sorry ladies and gents – your super dreamy Ghost Man is off the market).
Neither one of those thing are gonna happen if fights and arguments break out over whether that was a foul, and how many bases that guy should’ve gotten, or if a pitch was a ball or a strike. The better armed you are with a full grasp of the rules, the smoother games will go, and the happier everyone will be knowing an educated baller is running their game! Remember, love conquers all. And by love, I mean love and a ref who knows his/her a$$ from a hole in the ground…You can always find a copy of the latest kickball rules at www.worldkickball.com.
2. This GMOT’s Your GMOT. While I may be able to entertain you with the occasional quip, sarcastic remark, or blow-by-blow description of Ryan’s table dancing efforts at Dengates, this newsletter’s only gonna be as good as you want it to be. In other words, send in brief write ups ( 150 – 200 words or so) of your game to let us all know how it went. Smack talk your next week’s opponent. Send shout outs to the players that rocked the playground that week. You get the picture. Then send that stuff to me at kickballsuperstar@mail.com. You’ll be glad you did.
3. Bottles and Cans – Just Clap Your Hands. – AND KEEP ‘EM OUT OF SIGHT AND OFF THE FIELD…If teams were to bring coolers with punch, orange juice, and Gatorade that have “SPECIAL ADDED INGREDIENTS” – that’s TOTALLY FINE… Just keep the visual evidence of our debauchery away. No beer cans or bottles. But if you were to walk up with 22 oz of cold, crisp Pabst Blue Ribbon in a Squeezie Water Bottle – I’m all smiles….
Have fun and be safe out there, y’all. Walk the ladies to their cars after games and after drinks, fellas. It’s the right thing to do, and people will notice your improved social skills.
In the coming weeks you’ll be able to take a gander at team write-ups, the next week’s schedule, and info on upcoming events. As always, if you have questions, feel free to keep them to yourself – forcing them into a tiny ball of rage deep within the pit of your stomach, to then be let out at a completely inappropriate time. OR, you can send me an email (I’m at kickballsuperstar@mail.com - pipe down back there. You know it’s cool.), or buy me a beer at Dengate’s and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Until my beer’s gone.
See you on the field and at the bar, kids…
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Ghost Man
WEEK 2 GAMES:
WEDNESDAY JUNE 15
Field A 6:30 Charitable Ballers & The Blumps
Field A 7:15 Good Times & 3 Dollar Bills
Field B 6:30 Average Joes & Copper Penny
Field B 7:15 Ball Busters & Coconut Bangers
THURSDAY JUNE 16
Field A 6:30 NKOTB & The Sure Thing
Field A 7:15 Stinky Pinky & Sleeping W/ Socks On
Field B 6:30 Off in Wood & Yager Bombers
Field B 7:15 Rex Kwan Do & Red Rubbers