The Slip and Slide of Moral Decay

I just saw the final edit of the commercial I was in. It’s actually pretty good. I may need to go on Celebrity Fit Club, however. Jeez…

I can’t upload anything other than images to my site, so I can’t put the whole spot on my site. But I’ll try and put some stills from it up here as soon as I get my copy (later this week).

Here’s how it plays out, though.

Me (decked out in a U of SC jersey, and face paint) and my friend, J.C. (in a Clemson jersey with paws on his face) rush up to the register with a cartful of stuff for the “big game.”

J.C. says, “Hurry! Just 10 minutes to kickoff!”
Me: “Waitaminute! We’re forgetting something!”

cut to Piggly Wiggly store manager at the other side of the store holding a bag of chips

PWSM: “Guys….forgetting these?”

cut back to me and J.C. We look at each other, I push him up against the counter and take off down the open aisle as the store manager throws a hail mary with the chip bag.

cut to me jumping (in slow motion), catching the chips, then spiking them on the ground, pointing at them, and saying “YES!” then doing the Cabbage Patch…very badly…

cut to customer in the store who sees me (a fellow co-worker - way to go NAT!), covers her child’s eyes (another co-worker’s kid). cut to J.C. looking at me like, what the HELL are you doing?!?! as I slowly realize that I’m doing a ridiculous touchdown dance in the middle of a grocery store…

The store manager walks over, hands me a new bag of chips, and says “All’s fair in love and football” as I embarrassingly take the chips and walk off-screen.

hey. at least it wasn’t a hemorrhoid commercial…
-KS

KSG and I went on holiday last week (don’t you just love that term? holiday? it’s so much better than vacation! Even if you went to the local box factory while on holiday, it would still sound cooler. Thanks. We now return you to your previously scheduled blathering blog post.) to my family’s beach house in Duck, NC. It’s a trip I’ve made from Charleston more than a few times since I moved down here….seven years ago. I normally head up US 17 all the way to Williamston, then to I-64 all the way to the Outer Banks. It takes about 8.5 to 9 hours and is about 500 miles.

Well, KSG and I decided in July (our last outing to the family compound), that we’d forsake the scenery for speed, and take I-26 to I-95 to I-64. Nothing much to look at, but we cut about 2 hours off the drive (which is an eternity when you’re stuck with KSG’s CD collection which looks like she lovingly polishes them with gravel and a blowtorch before putting them in her player).

We chose speed over beauty again for this trip. Only we were so engrossed in our conversations (which ranged from work, to movies, to singing songs in animal voices) that we drove past the exit for 95.

and didn’t realize it for 45 minutes.

Luckily, we were just outside Columbia (the redneck/dixie-flag flying/yes our governor carried two pigs into the statehouse Columbia - not the drug cartel/scarface/you can buy the governor for two pigs Colombia) and were able to hop on another highway that connected to 95. It only added about 1 hour or so total to the drive. (by the way - eating at Cracker Barrel during road trips is bad news. At least for me. Stay away from the gravy. For god’s sake - say NO to the gravy!)

Holiday was nice. We read, laid on the beach, went to an arcade, played putt-putt, and watched Lilo and Stitch four times (my two-year old nephew was at the house, too).

On the way back, I got off an exit too early and missed the I-64 exit, adding 20 minutes to the drive. But I didn’t eat Cracker Barrel, so it all evened out.

On a completely unrelated, but 1,000,000 times more important note:
KSGP - I’m glad to hear to everyone’s safe and healthy. If there’s anything I can do to help, just say the word.