The Slip and Slide of Moral Decay

Wow.

This one was tough, y’all. I have no doubt that each of you would give Chewie a great home, based on the efforts put forth in my humble caption contest! But, only one person will be walking away with The Chewie.

I narrowed it down to five finalists. Here they are in no particular order:

• Pat Robertson blames Boy/Chair union on gay marriage, pornography, Flipper reruns
by AnonymousCoworker

• When asked about getting head stuck in seat, Boys remarks, “It was for chair-ity.”
by AnonymousCoworker

• 1st year Gryffindor flunks Chair Levitation final. It’s “Leviosa”. Right, Hermione?
by KSGM

• After failing his philosophy test, yet again, Billy proves the existence of the elusive “chair.”
by Jackie

• Giving Bobby a special “Double” dose of Ritalin ends in disaster as Bobby tries to get his “head in the game.”
by Jackie

So, with no further adieu, I’m so happy to turn the announcement ceremony over to Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson.

RJ: ACW - I totally dug all of your entries, dawgs. Yo, I mean they was tight, dawg. ACW brings game with some political-type humor, and then, BAM! He hits you with some old-school silly-ass wordplay! I’m feeling you, dawg.

KS: Donald Trump??!?! How the HELL did you get in here?!?! I like ACW and I thought his stuff was great! No need to be an asshole about it. You’re friggin’ hair is fired, Donald. Why don’t you, that Lemony Snicket looking dude, and the Princess Di after a year of benders, go back to the boardroom, and continue to fill your company with GAME SHOW CONTESTANTS!!!!

sorry folks. back to the show…

(theme music begins to play)….

We seem to be running out of time, so let’s wrap this up, shall we?

KSGP - Your entries were absolutely great! All these whippersnappers that entered the contest should give you your propers for stepping up to the plate and delivering some comedy gold…But, as much as it pains me to say this (And run the risk of getting docked major points), Chewie will be going to neither Houston nor the Crescent City. But I think you’re both very smart, attractive, and I’m honored that you jumped in with both feet.

Well, that narrows it down, doesn’t it?

Jackie - As silly, wacky, stupid, fiercely intelligent and ravingshly handsome as I am, I’m also a sucker for a good philosophy joke.

Jackie from 86 Tips is the winner of the 1st Annual Chewbacca Award for funniest caption in a pointless blog contest!!!!!!

Shoot me an email and let me know what your address is, and the three-inch wookie will be on his way to you!

Just remember: You’ve got to take him out (at least once!), photograph the night (or day, or afternoon)’s events, and post ‘em on your site! Then, one day, when the time is right - and Chewie will let you know - show Chewie the door by offering him up to a contest winner of your choice!

Thanks for playing everyone!

RJ: Peace, dawgs!
PA: G’bye, everyone! I love you all! Aren’t KSGP sooooo cute?!!?
SC: Oh, bloody hell…

Won’t you please take him and and let him become a part of your family?

Just THREE DAYS LEFT on the Photo Caption Contest - Featuring Chewbacca!

I LOVE the captions that y’all have submitted so far, but I’m a greedy man, and want more to choose from!

Who among you can match wits with ACW?

Who can drop a funk bomb on Boogie?

Who wants to lay the smackdown on my mom? Figuratively speaking, of course. KSM is a wonderful woman whom I love and appreciate like no other.

Who thinks they can serve KSGM? Once again, figuratively speaking. KSGM is another lovely woman whom I’ve grown to admire, respect, and care for. And she TOTALLY let me cut in the food line at the wedding in Austin this summer!

Can you bring da noise to KSGD? What about da funk? Just be careful when you bring it. Mr. KSGD is a honorable, wise, and ruggedly attractive gentleman. And he’ll be waiting for your noise and funk-bringing….oh yes. He’ll be waiting…

You have until 9AM Monday morning to submit. I will announce the winner at 9:59PM on Monday night - just before Laguna Beach…the Real Orange County.

Good luck!
-KS

PS - I’m in another improv show tonight…Improv Freight Train. If you’re in the Charleston area - or have crazy Diddy money and can chopper in - feel free to come to the show!

THE HAVE NOTS! present IMPROV FREIGHT TRAIN
It features talented improvisers from Fishing w/ Dynamite and Improv Smackdown whose collective credits include a scorekeeping Stingrays games, DJ-ing at a rock station, starring in Piggly Wiggly commercials, murder mystery performances, washing dishes among other exciting, comedy-inspiring activities, and other groups to create two acts of ridiculously funny shizz-bango comedy.
8:00 p.m.
Tickets are $10

For reservations call 853-6687 or go to www.thehavenots.com.

Theatre 99 is located at 280 Meeting Street (above the Bicycle Shoppe). Our
entrance is up the stairs at the back of the building.

I found this on Fark.com today, and my head almost exploded due the number of jokes that rushed into my brain…

I’m almost entirely out of kickball stuff (I hung up my cleats, by the way. But I’m keeping the moniker.), so the winner of this month’s caption contest will win (and I can’t believe I’m doing this) Chewbacca.

That’s right. I’m giving away the three-inch wookie that parties like there’s no tomorrow.

For those of you who don’t remember, click on the link above and/or check out the picture below.

My only stipulations are these:
1) The winning caption better be freaking HILARIOUS
2) You HAVE to take Chewie out with you at least one night, document it photographically, and post the pics on your site. If you don’t have a site, then email the pics to me, and I will post them here.
3) KSM and KSGP are eligible to win, but MUST follow rules #1 and #2. KSG can enter, but you can’t win, girl. Folks would think I was up to something if my girlfriend won…

So, sharpen your pencils and your wits, cuz it’s go time. Give Chewie a good home.

I’ll give y’all a week on this one. Captions must be submitted by 9AM Monday, September 26th.

With lower lip quivering,
-KS

Melina (read her if you don’t already) reminded of a good point today. It’s been awhile since my last photo challenge…And while I don’t have the time or the patience for a REAL photo challenge right now, I did think that since Kickball has kicked off, and things are reaching some semblance of normalcy now, that I would hold another PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST!!!!

This time, however, there’s a little change. Instead of one photo, there are three. I will give away a Play Kickball sticker to the creator of the funniest caption for each picture. I know I know… a lousy kickball sticker…but time’s are tough, so just relish in your victory and your sticker for now, ok? And if you sit back in your seat and behave, I may be able to dig something else up to send you, so there.

The deadline for entries is 6/29 at 5:30PM! Be there or be a big, fat idiot!

So, here they are in no particular order:

Good luck!

Vivian for “Humiliated, Barbie vowed never to try to impress any future dates by offering to “play a little game.”

Viv, one WAKA kickball coming up! Start the k-ball insanity in KY… i said k y…

I’ve also got to give out two runner-up prizes for the use of “Natural Snack” in the caption.

ACW for “This prototype of “Filthy, Naked, Dinosaur-headed, pole-dancing, Natural Snack” Barbie was canned because of a marketing problem with Adjective Overload.” and
Bathroom Reading for “Barbie got a little angry when she was traded to the Natural Snack strip club. And they learned an important lesson: don’t get her angry; you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.”

You guys win kickball stickers. feel free to put them anywhere! Your car, your cube, over the mouth of the Philipino boy you abducted, and much, much, more! I won’t have those in hand until Sunday, so they’ll go out in a few. And sometimes, I can be, um…a little tardy with my mailings…sorry BR…

I’ll give y’all the skinny on my Leaving Las Vegas/Jerry Springer/Cops roomates (it is now not uncommon to come home to random people crashed out on the couches, and the smell of Chi Chi’s Strawberry Magaritas permeating everything in the house) next week.

As far as new contests and challenges go, well, K-Lo fancies herself a karaoke singer, and issued a bit of a challenge. Stay tuned for results…

Y’all brought some serious funny this week! Thanks, because It’s been a loooooong week at work, and it was a nice distraction to stop back here every once in awhile to see what was being thrown up on the site.

Thanks for playing, everbody!

Last week and this week are ridiculously busy for me at work. Crisis communications to the Nth degree for one of our clients, and a buttload of written material that I need to put fingers to keyboard to for another. I stayed a little later at work than normal last night, just so I could check in on everyone’s sites that I read cuz I didn’t get to go over ‘em with my morning coffee.

So since work has been pretty all consuming, I haven’t had a lot to write about that won’t get me Dooced. And I’m not trying to get canned because I wrote about the ridiculously stupid stuff that happens here that also happens in every one of our places of employment, too, I’m sure…

I am staying at a friend’s house this week while she’s in Vegas, because I can’t stand my roommates (a friend and his fiancee). It’s like living in a f*$king Jerry Springer episode, day in and day out. There’s some craziness that’s been going on there that I could write about. Like yesterday morning when I came home at 7AM (spent the night at my girlfriend’s house), and the two of them spilled out of their car - longhaired chihuahua in tow - drunk off their asses. And that kind of shit is just par for the course lately. I think I’ll write a few ‘graphs about them near the end of the week, when I have a few more minutes of slack time available.

So, in the interest of funnin’ with y’all, I’d like to stage another photo caption contest. And seeing as my moniker is Kickball Superstar, I will award yet another official World Adult Kickball Association kickball to the winner. Please have your captions submitted by 9PM Thursday night. I’ll announce the winner around noon on Friday…

I have no idea where this photo came from. I just googled “random weird photo,” and this sucka came up. Have your way with him/her/it!!!

smell you later,
-KS